Identity separation and combination and whatever

[afuna]

I usually try to separate "afuna" from my real life identity, and it works, but I'm beginning to find it limiting. It's literally stopping me from doing a few things I want to do, either because I'm lazy, or I can't decide which identity to do things under.

I want to join a couple of local user groups, but I have been putting it off because I can't decide whether doing so is work (so RL identity) or play ("afuna") to use. I also want to follow along workmates on twitter and whatever, but no way am I using my current twitter account for that. (And once invites are less scarce, I want to get a wave invite under my RL name, just so that I can connect to workmates as well). And occasionally I wish that I had my code under my RL name, just because it would be nifty on my resume :-) But I don't want to create any more linkage than I already have, because a lot has managed to creep in over the years.

I've set up email accounts under my RL identity, but I have very little activity under them because I'm so busy doing other good stuff to maintain... that kinda hurts my resume I guess? I strongly suspect it does.

So. It's too much work to keep up separate identities, but it's too much risk to combine the two, and I'm back where I started (unable to act on a few of my interests until I decide which of the two I'd rather have them under).

Comments

[oona]

This entry is interesting to me because nowhere on the net do I use my own identity. There is one person alive who actually knows anything about my online identity, and he only knows part of it. I have so many thousands of posts under different identities as well, and I often wonder what will happen when I leave this earth. My sites will all be orphans. When I have to sign my legal name, it is a strange thing to me.

[gchick]

I have no good answers, but a lot of the same concerns. I'm not sure if that helps all that much, but at least you've got company.

[lacey]

I get this. I've done a lot of writing over the years that I'd like to share with people, but to do so would expose my DW and LJ to too much risk. They're my last safe havens, can't afford for them to be compromised.

[kareila]

I've dealt with the same concerns over the years, but over time I've relaxed the separation a bit. The only time I've been "discovered" is when a particularly determined childhood friend tracked down my LJ username via a TinyMUSH mailing list message that was in a public archive... and I was glad to reconnect with him!

At this point I don't want my family reading my journal (husband excepted, he has full access to my brain) but anyone else is welcome; I just try to keep the sensitive stuff access-locked.

[janinedog]

Yeah, same here. I have no problem with people knowing about my online identity (either here or on Facebook). If there's something I don't want the whole world to know about me, I protect it.

[juliet]

Ditto. I currently have my fic journal separate from this one, but I'm not going to take huge pains to maintain that separation. (In significant part it's just because most of the people who read my LJ/DW wouldn't be remotely interested in the fic.) It's a damn nuisance remembering to switch logins to comment on fannish communities, as well!

More generally, I concluded ages ago that I am too lazy to really maintain separation of identities, so I fairly deliberately make my LJ/DW quite linkable to me. That way I don't labour under any misapprehension re traceability :) (Having said that, the privacy settings of LJ/DW are v valuable for that reason.)

OOI, afuna, what are your concerns about the risk?

[afuna]

Hmmm, well I'd rather my parents not know some things about me >:-)

But in general, I don't actually have anything specific to hide, other than nebulous feelings of wariness. Also, I know that once the two are firmly linked, I can't unlink them, so I'm playing it safe until I've decided... well I'm not sure what I'm deciding on :-)

[afuna]

Hmm, yeah. I tend to leave most of my entries public (except my really emotional ones), and I haven't thought of using locking as a solution because most of the time my issue is a difference in context rather than privacy (I am happy letting random strangers know I do $sillystuff, less happy if it is an officeworker who knows me as the quiet girl in the office), but... I think that there are some things I'd be less conflicted about as locked, so I may start doing that more!

[yvi]

I've dealt with the same concerns over the years, but over time I've relaxed the separation a bit.

Same here, though I am not quite that far yet. My first boyfriend, for example, never even knew I had a Livejournal or read/wrote fanfic, I was protecting my internet persona that much (and we were together for over 2 years). I am more relaxed now and wouldn't mind friends knowing I write fanfic, for example.

[afuna]

Hehehe. Oh man, that reminds me of the guy I met in an MMO who tracked down my LJ after I dropped contact with him. I was not quite as happy to reconnect with him! *G*

[raingirl]

obviously you need to go into the witness protection program.

[afuna]

*snickers* That sounds like a plan to me!

[zorkian]

I gave up having a separate identity a long time ago. xb95 is Mark Smith is xb95. I'm a little protected from people who know 'Mark Smith' from finding 'xb95' since it's a little hard to Google my name (heh), but I don't care if people find me.

Most of the jobs I've had, I've kept some sort of public face for the company I've been with. Danga, Six Apart, CCP, Mozilla, and Dreamwidth. That's desensitized me to people finding me... I've also learned over the years to be really careful about what I say and where I say it. For better or worse.

[pne]

I also want to follow along workmates on twitter and whatever, but no way am I using my current twitter account for that.

*nod* That won't work if you're trying to separate your identities -- otherwise, at the least, you'd have to post something like "Hey, if you're wondering who I am, I'm FusRealName!" when following someone on Twitter etc., and that kind of links the two right back together.

But I can see how it's tough to keep the two separate if you want to engage socially using both.

[jadelennox]

I'm having exactly the same dilemma. Right now I'm thinking about the process of transferring over all of my dreamwidth works to my real name, which is crazy talk, but it's also programming experience which I'd really like to have associated with my real name. Except historically none of it has been! I have no objection to any reasonable number of individuals knowing the connection between the two online identities but I don't ever want to be known by an amorphous mass, you know?

[afuna]

Yes, this.

FWIW, I've heard that for interviews and resumes, they won't need to know (or care to know) your actual username. I haven't tried, but it's one thing I've heard from people who have used their experience from volunteering (in LJ, anyway) to help them get jobs.

[jadelennox]

True. But I've searched for the code of job candidates myself, and I'd like my own to be available. And I'm starting to feel like out there in the world what I have to say about code+women, code+disability, etc would be more respected if it had my real name attached.

Sigh.

[afuna]

Hmm, you're right, and that's one of the biggest things I regret about keeping my two identities so separate. And I have to prove myself twice over, even though I only have half the time to dedicate to everything I'm doing.

[draigwen]

I've blurred the edges between my online personality over the years. For the most part LJ/DW/Twitter only have friends I've met online with exceptions (one of my best mates is on Twitter, and a few people I know in real life but have no connection with family/work are on LJ/DW). Facebook is specifically for people I know in real life and has no connections with my online personality sites, except that a few people I've met through LJ are also friends on Facebook.

So mine's very much a blur - while I do have one thing for real life and several for online personna I don't necessarily prevent 'knowing' people through both. I don't hide my DW from people so if someone in real life found it I wouldn't be too bothered. But at the same time I wouldn't necessarily add them as a friend or anything.

I don't think this really helps you or adds anything, except that I don't necessarily think you have to keep both completely separate. That said, I'm switching my online personna to draigwen from draconid in most places - where I have less issues with real life people knowing about draigwen than draconid - as when I was draconid I wasn't necessarily as cautious about what I say as I am now.

[cesy]

I'm having the opposite problem at the moment - lots of people know that Cesy is Jenny S-T, including people at work and relatives and random RL friends. There are some things I'd like to look at online that I don't really want linked where those people could find it easily. But setting up another identity from scratch is hard work, and then I have to go and tell all the people who I don't mind knowing about the link, so they don't get scared by the sockpuppeting.

[afuna]

Oh man, yes. I don't have any thing to contribute, but good luck, and I wish you the best in figuring it out <3

[pne]

and then I have to go and tell all the people who I don't mind knowing about the link, so they don't get scared by the sockpuppeting.

That bit is easier if you also build up a new social circle with the new identity... but that rather misses the point of a social network if you can't take your friends with you.

[juliet]

I have a similar sort of issue in that I have this journal, & then one for fannish stuff. The difference is more because many of the people who read this journal (or my LJ one) would be not at all interested in my fic writing, so I put it elsewhere. But then I have to remember to comment using the other username, or run the other account with another reading-list altogether (in fact I've tried that & it doesn't work for me)...

I am leaning further towards just openly linking everything & choosing not to care, but I'm fortunate enough to be in a position where I could do that. My main concern is that I have some RL friends who might be scathing about my fannish activities (such as they are); but actually, I'm increasingly thinking "screw them then". (In which case I could just link my fic from my profile on this account, & vice versa, & it's all good.)

Um.

[prissi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, keeping the two apart seems ridiculously stressful. :/ I hope you can figure out what you want to do soon, or somehow be able to put all that fine work you're doing on your resume without compromising your identities.

[afuna]

Thank you, prissi <3

I am beginning to get a few ideas, maybe something will work itself out!

[ealden.livejournal.com]

Why do you maintain two in the first place?

[afuna]

Mostly as a precaution.

Some of my interests aren't mainstream, neither are some of my personal beliefs and I'd rather not have to explain myself to people who might stumble across my journal because they know me IRL.

(One example, I'm not religious, and I occasionally bring that up or imply it in my entries. And while it's something I do think about a lot, I don't want to go into the whole justifying my lack of beliefs in front of friends/family bit).

But the other thing is that I really enjoy my privacy, and splitting my identity is one way to let me control who gets to see what, and in which context, which I'd have a harder time doing if I merged.

[iruka11.livejournal.com]

nako mahirap nga yan... sinusubukan ko rin... kaso nagkasabog sabog na sa facebook >.<
im thinking of getting a new account pero nakakatamad na...

[afuna]

Heheheh, oo nga eh. Medyo mahirap-hirap, noh? Hassle kasi mag-maintain ng multiple accounts, eh.