Wedding guest shenanigans

Friday, June 19th, 2026 04:48 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Sahaj: To make a long story short, my fiancé and I are getting married next month. His sister told him she was planning to hold an event for her baby while she’s in town for our wedding (Jewish baby naming ceremony, kind of like a baptism).

My fiancé told her we’d really prefer she hold it any other weekend. Her baby will be over 1 year old and I don’t trust her to throw the event in a way that’s sensitive to our wedding — she often forgets (or refuses) to consider us and dismisses our concerns. Last year, when my fiancé told her I was sad to be de facto excluded from a family weekend she planned, she told me “it’s not fair to put your disappointment on others.”

Well, she was shocked and hurt by our scheduling request. Sister + her husband tried to guilt trip fiancé solo while he was on a work trip in her city. “You’re taking your anger out on my baby!”, and “it’s just 10 minutes, no big deal.” Then the four of us talked, and they said they wanted to repair this. I acknowledged the hurt feelings but declined to hear more, and I shared what I needed.

Now she’s all “I guess everything I do is wrong!”, “I’ve never experienced hatred like this,” and “I can’t trust [fiancé] anymore!” because we set a boundary, communicated openly with each other about things that involve our wedding and relationship and shared how we feel (like she asked!)

Now, we’re trying to be polite and conserve energy before the wedding, but fiancé’s parents and other sister have been pressuring us to reach out or have another big talk. Fiancé’s family says they’re “close” but it feels suffocating.
Help! I just want to have a healthy, happy marriage and a fun, meaningful wedding weekend. How can we protect these things? My fiancé has gotten a lot better with boundaries, but still ends up super guilty and stressed about how his family reacts to us saying no to them.

— Bride To Be Hoping For Peace


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2. Dear Prudence,

My sister “Nina” got married in early April, and she’s still angry over something my boyfriend did during the wedding reception. No, he didn’t get wasted, knock over the wedding cake, or make an unwanted pass at anyone. His crime? He proposed to me on the dance floor. After I accepted, people stopped dancing to briefly congratulate us, and then we all went back to having fun. Nina, however, says I completely “upstaged” her and accused me of trying to ruin her wedding by taking the attention away from her!

Now my sister is demanding that I apologize and says she won’t speak to me until I do. She’s even dragged our mom into the act, and now my mom is on my case about it, too. I honestly had no idea my boyfriend was planning to propose to me at her wedding; it was just a pleasant surprise. My boyfriend says I have nothing to apologize for, and my mom and sister are completely out of line. I agree with him, but a part of me wonders if I should just give Nina a fake apology to restore peace in the family. Good idea, or should I stand my ground?

—Proposal Petulence


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Bwahahahahaha!

Friday, June 19th, 2026 12:49 am
[syndicated profile] shinyhappygoth_feed

scribeofskyrim:

A screenshot showing a bit of text and a wordcount at the top. The wordcount reads "420,666" and is circled in red, with an arrow pointing to it. Under the arrow, written over the typed text, are the words "Current Word Count!"ALT

Bwahahahahaha!

This is where I stopped writing yesterday. I didn’t notice until I opened it up to start writing today and realized that I didn’t log my number last night (I keep track).

I couldn’t have done this if I tried! XD

Now this song is in my head.

More estranged parents

Friday, June 19th, 2026 03:41 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. DEAR ABBY: For years, my only daughter and I got along pretty well. Then she stopped visiting or speaking to us, meaning we didn't see our grandchildren or my son-in-law. That went on for six to eight years. Suddenly, she has responded on Facebook but refuses to tell me what the problem was.

When you don't communicate with somebody for this long, it's difficult because so much has happened in the interim that conversations are now as if I'm speaking to a stranger. I deeply resent this, though I pretend I'm fine because if I don't, all communication will cease again.

As I near the end of my life, I don't want her to know or come to my "deathbed" (whenever that might be) because the only thing I'm going to want to know is "why," and she will never tell me. It interfered with my relationship with my three granddaughters, so I don't want to see her.

I truly feel if she didn't want any part of me all these years, she shouldn't bother paying lip service now. When that time comes, I only want to be around people who truly loved and cared about me. I can't get my son and my best friend to understand that when the time comes, I just want peace. How can I? -- WEARY IN WASHINGTON


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*****


2. DEAR ABBY: After the last presidential election, my daughter, "Cindy," whom I love with all my heart, turned against me.

Cindy started rebelling when she was a teenager. Our relationship was rocky for some time, but I never stopped loving her. Once she matured, our relationship became much better, so I was shocked when she turned on me in such a vicious way.

She began making up stories about how I had abused her as a child -- absolute lies. She also began sending me nasty text messages, calling me names because of my political beliefs and telling me she no longer wants a relationship with me. I don't care what her political beliefs are. I would never be so cruel to her.

It has been a year and a half since we have had any contact. I have tried writing her letters, which I assume she is throwing in the garbage without reading. I can't call her because she blocked my number, and she has also blocked me on all social media. I need advice about how to move forward. -- GOOD MOM IN THE SOUTH


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lang/typescript-go - 7.0.0.g20260609

Friday, June 19th, 2026 08:19 am
[syndicated profile] freshport_news_feed
lang/typescript-go: Update to 7.0.0.g20260609

Changelog: https://github.com/microsoft/typescript-go/compare/94f31f32f8b5713e8fb17aaa65ba73b596485459...69b0d53976ef291fa0bb2b636ec1b557a015f6b3

New Worlds: Industrialization

Friday, June 19th, 2026 08:15 am
swan_tower: (Default)
[personal profile] swan_tower
There's a particular type of alternate history whose premise is: what if [fill in the blank past society] industrialized? (Rome is a particular magnet for this.)

The challenge of such speculation is that we have precisely one data point for what de novo industrialization looks like. Many parts of the world have industrialized, but they've done it by adopting the concepts and technologies developed elsewhere. As a result, our explanations for how it happens run the risk of being just-so stories, with no way to test them and see if they're correct. Those being the only explanations we have, though, we pretty much have to go with them whenever we attempt to depict either an alternate historical industrialization, or this process happening in a secondary world.

But before we ask what it takes to industrialize, we should first look at what industrialization is.

I'm going to give a simple answer to this. An industrial society is one that's figured out mechanized methods of production, rather than everything having to be done by hand. In order make that mechanization work, we had to harness new sources of energy -- specifically, fossil fuels -- and then reorganize labor around creating and operating the machines. As a consequence of such changes, a society of this type develops more specialized division of labor, and also tends to support higher, denser populations.

So: how do you get there from an agrarian society where muscles provide most of the power?

Obviously this is in large part a technological question. A Bronze Age society can't industrialize for the simple reason that their metallurgy can't support the kinds of technology necessary for powerful steam engines; hunter-gatherers, even less so. Even an iron-working society can't necessarily manage it, because a boiler capable of surviving useful levels of pressure isn't something any old blacksmith can bang together. But technology is only one side of the equation, and if all you're looking at is the metallurgy, it's easy to think that surely any place with good blacksmiths could figure it out -- that it's pure chance no other time period industrialized. In reality, you also have to ask yourself, what are we making these machines for?

Yes, aeolipiles -- primitive steam turbines -- existed nearly two thousand years before the Industrial Revolution got rolling. But they were essentially toys, producing very little power and using up tons of fuel to do it. They had no practical function. It took a completely different design to arrive at a steam engine that could do anything useful . . . and the odds that anybody was going to put in the work for that design were low, because what purpose would it serve?

When your vision of the Industrial Revolution is that change at its height, with massive engines driving locomotives or machines that fill whole rooms, you miss how inefficient, ineffective, and unreliable early steam engines were. Even if some Greek inventor tinkered around with the aeolipile or asked "I wonder if there's a better approach?", he would wind up spending tons of money and effort on making a device that still wasn't worth it. The argument I've seen -- the best just-so story we have for the Industrial Revolution -- is that it started where it did and when it did because eighteenth-century Britain found itself in a situation where even a kind of crappy steam engine was better than no engine at all: coal was needed for heating purposes, their coal mines had gotten deep enough that they were flooding with water, and oh look, the fuel you need for the engine is right there where you'll be using it. No need to pay for transporting it anywhere. The economics worked out to make that a problem worth solving with a new technological development.

Coal has been used for a long time in cooking and heating, but we've tended to go for the easy surface deposits first, and to switch away from it when those become less accessible. The roots of Britain's industrialization probably lie in deforestation and the more intensive mining of coal in the century or two leading up to the development of actual steam engines -- a set of circumstances that didn't prevail in, say, Rome. They handled their mechanical problems with slave labor and had much less need for coal, living where they did; as near as I can tell, peninsular Italy had very little coal anyway (compared to Britain). So trying to invent a steam engine there would be a solution in search of a problem to solve: not a situation that favors the kind of technological development that has to pass through multiple not-very-effective stages before it gets to the good stuff.

And the good stuff, as you all probably learned in school, is steam engines that are smooth and efficient enough to be useful in textile production. Once you have those, it's worth the cost to build them in places other than on top of coal mines and transport coal to them. Other uses, too, but after the water-pumping prologue, textile industrialization really is Act I of the Industrial Revolution, because it's an easy place for a better (but still not amazing) engine to make a difference. So here, again, the just-so story says Britain was the right place at the right time: they had huge industries in both wool and (thanks to colonialism) cotton, meaning that productivity gains in something as basic as the spinning of thread could produce absolutely explosive growth. Everything after that -- trains and steamships and cool steampunk gadgets -- is flying on the momentum created by coal mining and thread.

Of course, all of this is the mundane path to industrialization. In a speculative world, it's entirely possible to change the starting conditions and create a different trajectory; so long as it still follows the general pattern of "non-muscle energy source allows for new, mechanized, mass production," it will feel industrial. If that energy source is the discovery of a vein of some mineral which, when a small quantity is placed into a device, becomes an abundant form of power, maybe nobody has to slowly iterate through crappy devices to reach a point where it makes economic sense to transport the stuff elsewhere. Or it's a method of channeling magical power from the sky, recently discovered by an innovative sorcerer, which turns out to be useful for some productive task. (Quite possibly it's still textiles: as noted in the previous essay, those are, alongside food, one of the basic survival requirements that have historically demanded the most time and labor.)

I'll admit to ambivalent feelings about that latter example, because of what kind of magic I like in my stories. An industrialized form of magic is one that, by definition, can be depersonalized. At that point, no matter what words you attach to it, I no longer find it very magical: it's just technology by a different name. I can still enjoy stories in such a setting; I'll just enjoy them for reasons other than the magic. And I freely admit this is a personal opinion, not one shared by every reader. For worldbuilding purposes, it's entirely fine to create a speculative twist on the process of industrialization -- and then it helps to understand what does and does not make sense!

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(originally posted at Swan Tower: https://is.gd/SbcH2d)
[syndicated profile] theregister_feed
Your hybrid estate has grown more complicated since the last refresh cycle. Some workloads run in the public cloud, others never left the rack, and a few sit stuck in transition because nobody wants to be the person who broke the database. Add AI to the pile and the platform questions only get harder. Nutanix Tech Day is a half-day event designed to help the people who have to deal with increasingly complex infrastructure. Date: Wednesday, June 24, 2026 Time: 12pm to 6pm BST Place: Prospero House, Southbank, London Registration is free and includes lunch, refreshments, and time set aside for networking. What you'll learn The agenda runs through the headline announcements and key takeaways from Nutanix .NEXT Chicago 2026. Then you’ll get technical sessions on disaster recovery, data sovereignty, hybrid multicloud management, operational automation, and enterprise AI use cases that have shifted from slideware into production budgets. The tracks split so you can pick the sessions aligned to your priorities and skip the rest. If you have ever sat through a vendor day waiting for the one talk relevant to your stack, try this instead. Customer sessions are especially worth turning up for. The Bunker and London Gatwick Airport will walk attendees through what they have done with Nutanix in production, and talking to people who run the platform day to day is the cheapest form of due diligence you will find. Who it's for This event is for infrastructure engineers, technical architects, systems administrators, and cloud professionals. Security and compliance leads have reason to attend too, given the disaster recovery and data sovereignty material on the agenda. Why attend in person? The event puts you in a room with peers tackling the same problems and with the engineers who have run these platforms in production, the kind of conversation that rarely transfers to a video call. You can put questions directly to Nutanix specialists in an interactive setting, which tends to be the part of these days that justifies the train fare. The 12pm start gives you half a day out of the office to meet some interesting people, lunch included, and a working list of things to try when you get back. The tote bag is optional. Sponsored by Nutanix.
[syndicated profile] theregister_feed
Use of HMRC's own tool for checking compliance with the UK's controversial IR35 freelancer tax rules has fallen sharply, according to Freedom of Information data obtained by tax adviser IR35 Shield. The Check Employment Status for Tax tool, better known as CEST, was created to help firms decide whether contractors should be taxed like employees. But usage fell 43 percent during the 2025-26 tax year, and dropped 71 percent between 2023-24 and 2024-25, from 458,894 determinations to 135,178. The findings suggest that firms continue to abandon CEST in favor of alternative status assessment solutions and more comprehensive compliance processes, IR35 Shield said. CEO Dave Chaplin said: "The majority of firms we speak to for the first time are either lifting blanket bans or seeking to move away from using CEST, having realized it is not compulsory to use, nor does it give them the level of certainty they need." The decline is not the result of changes to the tool or legislation, according to IR35 Shield. "The underlying CEST logic has not been updated since November 2019 and was based on HMRC's view of the law at that time. Despite the courts dismissing HMRC's position in key areas, upon which the tool was based, the tool has not been updated," Chaplin said. IR35 Shield pointed out that HMRC lost a recent employment status case with Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL). Entering the facts of the case into CEST would have produced an indeterminate result, it said. In 2022, the Public Accounts Committee Committee (PAC) found that central government was spending hundreds of millions of pounds to cover tax owed for individuals wrongly assessed as self-employed. "Government departments and agencies owed, or expected to owe, HMRC £263 million in 2020-21 due to incorrect administration of the rules," the House of Commons spending watchdog said. Part of the compliance problem was down to HMRC’s guidance and the CEST tool. "Some questions within CEST were difficult to interpret correctly, and the guidance was long, too general in scope and not integrated into CEST itself," the PAC said. The Register asked HMRC to comment. ®