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Ninety minutes after posting that last entry, Gingko made me lose my balance on an icy sidewalk in front of a high school, a mega-busy street and a Popeye's Chicken, and friends, I have dislocated my left elbow and probably have some fractures too!!! Turns out you are not super convincing when the nurse asks you to rate your pain and you, sobbing and gasping for breath, wonder if 7 is too high. Also turns out that urgent care is NOT the place you go when your radius and ulna are free-floating inside your arm! I also hit my knee hard on the sidewalk and got one of those gouges I haven't given myself since childhood; nobody treated that until I got home from the hospital eight hours later and it still hurts. Ugh.

So... first they gave me morphine at the ER, which clarified a lot of things for me about every Opium Wars subplot in any drama I've ever watched. Then, for the actual resetting procedure, at least eight people were suddenly in my room, which was not the case when I injured myself in the same way on the same arm in fifth or sixth grade and sang the whole Lion King soundtrack to myself while we waited for the ortho. No, yesterday, they gave me fucking ketamine, and having had no experience with any mind-altering drugs of any sort or mildness, I was not prepared for any of that. I don't even know how to describe what that was like, but I fully understand a lot more about many pieces of art (video especially) that I've enjoyed over the years. Absolutely bonkers experience.

The nurse later told me that I went out like a light and didn't even say anything funny. I remember someone wrapping my arm and putting the splint on, which felt like it was happening very very fast, and somebody said something about ten minutes??? Then there was a long come-down. Everything was orange-red-yellow while I was under, and it felt like I was in a narrow open vehicle of some sort, with a mood like a party bus, but it was about reviewing your life before death or something?? I can't describe it, any attempt to get my hands around it feels like it's altering the memory and missing the point. I understand why it's valuable therapeutically, assuming it's done right!

Now my life is trying to get things done one-handed, which does not include taking a shower or tying shoelaces. Gingko is lucky she's so very stinkin' cute, not least because it got even icier overnight and taking her out is super treacherous. Nonetheless, she needs enrichment in her enclosure and all I want to do is watch TV until I can find out if the recommended ortho can see me before the 28th(!!!!) to see if those fractures need attending — and whether I undid the whole thing this morning trying to hold Gingko down while I cleaned up after her. I'm sensing a theme!!!!!!