I do not know how to cook

[afuna]

And I have been scared to learn, so I am determined to do so at some point in this next week.

So far, I have:

• cut carrots (it looks easy! I did not realize it was possible to do it horrendously badly! But I did it anyway! (both the cutting and the horrendously badly!) )
  
  
• cut chicken into chunks (across the grain. or the, the, whatever you call the texture. I think I scared people with my knife. BUT. I did it anyway ahaha )
  
  
• mixed chicken in the thing you coat it in before cooking (in this case, dab of rice wine, black pepper, sesame oil, soy paste. Then some corn starch afterwards, to keep it tender, I think (sesame oil on my hands smells so very good) )
  
  
• rejoiced over not yet wrecking dinner \o/
  
  

PS. Have not yet touched the stove.

Comments

[branchandroot]

I totally sympathize. Having a mother who is a cook's cook, I know a lot of things but almost none of them from my own experience, which doesn't make for confidence!

On the other hand, it can be fun once you start to get the basics down.

But chopping is a lot harder than they make it look! All those cooking shows with perfectly julienned veggies sitting around in bowls and they never actually show you how to get them that way.

[zarhooie]

Mandoline slicer is the gadget-friendly method, though I personally prefer a a really good paring knife. I like CC because they fit well in my hand, and are well-balanced. These two things are *the* most important thing to have in a knife, followed closely by "able to keep an edge".

I nearly universally cut veggies in my hand. You can press the blade into your thumb without cutting the skin as long as it presses straight down and there's no horizontal movement. With a bit of practice, it's very possible to get uniform chunks of just about everything. Meats are easier to do on a cutting board though.

Uhh... Yeah. Sorry. Hi. Foodie.

[branchandroot]

*grins* Yeah, my spouse and I have been in pursuit of a good multi-purpose slicer gadget for a while now. One that won't break the bank, which is the real trick. Failing that, I'm fond of the food processor, but it's such a pain to clean. I've gotten pretty good at dicing by hand, just because of that.

[zarhooie]

Pampered Chef stuff is a bit pricey, but it's usually pretty high quality stuff. Other options:

Something like Oxo Good Grips V-Blade Mandoline Slicer
is certainly an option. OXO, as a rule, produces high quality products that aren't going to break after 3 uses. That being said, going with something like this Norpro Mandolin Slicer might be a good idea. Get it, try it out, see if it's a gadget that you're going to use a lot. If it is, then use it until it breaks and get the OXO or one from Pampered Chef. If it's not, then you're out $25 and not too much worse for the wear.

Actually, the above is a pretty damn good strategy for trying out ANY new kitchen gadget. Get a cheap one, see if you will use it, spend appropriately for your next one.

[branchandroot]

Ah, now that Oxo one might work. The biggest problem is that it needs to take a lot of different size and density things, from eggplant to carrot, to be really useful and most of the things we've seen or tried just aren't that versatile.

[zarhooie]

I'd go with the OXO which I have very helpfully linked for you. And hey, it's over $25 so free shipping!

[afuna]

Huh, that slicer looks really really nifty.

I'm a bit scared of cutting anything against flesh. The only time I've seen someone do it, ended badly -- we were on a camping trip, and this girl basically used her thigh as a chopping board. Knife + carrot + force = not pretty.

Cut itself was messy, but not very serious, but the image stuck (especially since I was at a young impressionable age).

Also, also, foodie <3

[zarhooie]

If you're ever in my neck of the woods, I'll teach you how to do the choppy-in-hand bits properly without slicing your thumb open. Using your thigh is stupid because the skin there is generally really thin (though most major blood vessels are beneath enough fat that you'd be really asking for it if you managed to slice one). Skin on your thumb is thicker and less likely to get sliced open (papercuts be damned.)

<3

[afuna]

Hey, you are really good at soothing the nerves and misconceptions of this newbie cook.

(Which is to say, <3)

[zarhooie]

Which is also to say, "you probably won't die while trying to cook something." :)

Have you managed to make bread yet? I'll teach you the easiest way to do that if you want.

[afuna]

No, I haven't tried yet.

(Hmm, not sure how possible it is, though. We don't have an oven. We have a turbo-broiler and a toaster-oven, but no proper oven)

[zarhooie]

Eh, no bread for you then. You can make toast though!

[afuna]

Aww. I was afraid of that. But I shall be happy with my toast, and experimenting with anything else I can get my hands on.

[sporky_rat]

You can make some breads in a toaster oven - like banana nut bread. You can do quick breads, but not regular yeast breads.

[afuna]

All those cooking shows with perfectly julienned veggies sitting around in bowls and they never actually show you how to get them that way.

Oh man, yes. I had someone show me, and correct me several times, and I still kept going "*blank look* diagonal how?"